Velib Bike - Paris

Have had much fun and comedy moments this week in Paris on le velib.
For those who haven't come across them, these are the bikes you can hire, which you will find on many street corners.
There are a few tricks it is useful to know about in advance - it took me 45 minutes to work out how to hire one and remove it the first time.... I would recomend them, they're quite a laugh, and you'll be cooler on one of these than in the metro.
(Air France will allow you to take a bike helmet on as hand luggage, easyjet say they will but I haven't tried with them yet.)

Money & Subscriptions
- you don't need a navigo pass. Every group of velib bikes has a machine, there is an English option, you need a credit/debit card. Deep within the menu, hidden away in the palce you don't think it will be is an option to buy a velib subscription for 1 or 7 days - you can only buy these at the machine, tabacs and RATP ticket offices don't sell them, and can't help you. The machine is not clear, but follow any instruction it gives you which looks as if you are renewing or already have a velib ticket (not the navigo section), and eventually you will find the option to buy a subscription.
- it will seek authorisation on the credit/debit card you use for a €150 depoist
- subscriptions are €1 for 1 day, or €5 for 7 days. Then, the first half hour is free, then 2nd half hour is €1, then the next €2, then €4 thereafter - so short rides are best! See www.en.velib.paris.fr for details (mostly in french, even on the english version of the site)
- the velib website also allows you to check where the nearest velib station is - google maps indicates them too, and you can even do a live check to see how many bikes are free at a specific station
- once you've got the subscription set up the machine will issue you with a paper ticket with a unique number, and you set up a pin. Keep this ticket!

removing a bike
- find a bike stand with bikes, check that the bike you want has two wheels, a seat which locks into place (sometimes the lever doesn't close properly) - all other features are optional (see notes below on bike functioanlity) - each bike stand has a number, so remember the number of the bike stand whose bike you want
- go to the machine, punch in your ticket number, then your pin, then your bike stand number. (Sometimes if you've just returned a bike, and are removing a different bike from the same area it takes 3 or 4 minutes for the system to update, and permit you to take another bike - helpfully the machine doesn't tell you this, it lets you get all the way to putting in a bike number and then bombs out and returns to the main menu).
- once the machine has authorised your bike choice, you have 60 seconds to get the bike out of the stand. Nothing on the stand indicates its the one authorised for release. Go to the right stand, press the button on the stand, it will start beeping and flashing. To take the bike out of the stand reverse it - the thing holding it to the stand kind of looks as if its magnetic and will move out sideways, but it isn't just pull/reverse the bike out.

bike functioanlity
Bikes are maintained overnight, so they're generally ok, but sometimes not. You can't get to any part of them, so even if you know how to adjust the brakes, such knowledge is of no use.
Key features,
- a basket (suggest you wrap laptop bag straps round a handle bar)
- a light run via a dynamo
- two wheels - occassionally with no tyres or inner tube, and sometimes square
- a big fat seat which can be adjusted up and down, make sure the lever holds in place
- strange levers on the handle bars which seem to be only for decorative purposes
- ABS (alternative braking system) which consists of a noise-generator on the left hand handle bar. This is in fact a multi-purpose device: use it when you would normally brake, or when you intend to hit a pedestrian.
- handle bars made from lead - well, this is my analysis, as I can't work out what else they have done to make these bikes so damn heavy. With extra weight in the basket from your laptop bag this can make things quite wobbly when you're squeezing through narrow gaps (especially if you've been over ambitous with the seat height)
- 3 gears: motorbike stylee on right hand handle bar
- handle bar grips come with auto-velib-rider-marking-system - you will end up with black thumbs, impossible to wash off, ladies you may want to wear gloves if you don't want to look like a grease monkey
- a lock: you will see this in the basket. It will take you half an hour to find what it locks into on the bike and where the key is - get off your bike, on the right hand side its kind of near the front wheel. Don't forget that lockign your bike up away from velib station costs you money!

Tips for riding in Paris
- no-one wears a bike helmet in Paris - I did, and people thought me very strange
- wearing a skirt or dress when riding a bike is normal, don't worry about how much leg you flash
- it seems no one has a shower after riding a bike. (However, the weight / lack of gears generally means you're only tootling about anyway)
- Montrouge is very well named - avoid
- drivers are generally extra-ordinarily bike friendly: they'll leave you lots of space, and I didn't get cut up once
- don't indicate when turning left /right, or look over your shoulder - no-one else does, it seems to work
- red lights and pedestrian crossings are ignored
- there are a lot of cycle ways
- curb jumping on a velib bike is only for the mad - these things have no suspension & weigh 2 tons, take care you don't loose the contents of your bike basket
- rue du rivoli and champs elysee by velib bike is quite good fun - although you're not going to be looking much like Lance Armstrong. Place de la Concorde is quite a laugh - I just asked cyclicts near me if they were turning left, and we grouped up and cut the traffic up together
- there are velib stations near les Olivier, Orange Village, but not Technocentre
- other velib riders are very helpful - if you want a good bike, loiter near the velib stands and when someone returns one ask them if it is a good one